Business Systems Architect

Kapil Sharma, Sunil Grover – Who’s right, who’s wrong, and why… and What You Can Learn

Kapil Sharma and Sunil Grover apparently had a big fight.

While the exact details of the situation and circumstances are are unclear… what has now become clear is that not only is Sunil Grover boycotting Kapil Sharma’s show, but Ali Asgar and Chandan Prabhakar are also boycotting it. Kapil Sharma, Sunil Grover, Ali Asgar and Chandan Prabhakar had been working for several years together… not only on this show, but also on several other shows.

Or more specifically, they are all boycotting Kapil Sharma himself.

What caused the riff between Kapil Sharma, Sunil Grover?

While a recent and rather public spat between Kapil Sharma and Sunil Grover seems to be the trigger… I have been foreseeing this for a while. In fact, over the past few months I did not watch any episode of Kapil Sharma show… largely because I couldn’t stand his arrogance… and I was just a viewer.

Kapil Sharma is a good comedian.

But so is Sunil Grover. In fact, many viewers believe (yours truly included) that Grover is far better than Sharma. While Sharma’s humor is rather over-the-top and demeaning, Grover has no qualms being the butt of a joke every now and then.

Grover’s humor is also subtler and drier.

Kapil also seems to be perturbed by other people outwitting him. Instead of taking other people’s barbs or zingers in his stride… he tries to pull off one-up-manship. Often, with ironically unfunny results.

This issue of mistreatment isn’t new.

While this Kapil Sharma, Sunil Grover, Ali Asgar, Chandan Prabhakar story is new… the issue of cast members being mistreated by Kapil Sharma isn’t new. Sources state that…

At an earlier occasion, Grover decided to do his own show titled Mad In India on Star Plus. It was said that Sharma, also the producer of Comedy Nights With Kapil Sharma, refused to give Grover a salary hike.

So this isn’t new.

In fact, I have also observed Sharma’s rudeness directed at Navjot Singh Sidhu. Sharma is prone to cut others off mid-sentence. And to disregard their comments or questions altogether, at times.

Who’s Right & Who’s Wrong In This Kapil Sharma, Sunil Grover fight?

While the facts of the matter remain unproven… I’m with Grover on this one. And not just because I like his comedy better.

Here are some key reasons why…

  1. Kapil’s brand of humor is about demeaning other people. Be it an audience member, a colleague, a guest or even Sidhu… Kapil has never shied away from applying his wit to insulting others.
  2. His apology sounds rather disingenuous. More on this in a minute.
  3. All three of his closes “friends” chose to leave at once. This is not just their heightened emotions acting out… this is them making a clear statement.
  4. There are reports of physical abuse. Who knows what’s true! I’m not a journalist. I’m just going by what I read. But if there has been physical abuse, the dude needs to be locked up. Right now. Before he starts believing it’s OK to abuse others. If he’s this comfortable abusing his friends… who are famous celebrities themselves… I shudder at the thought of what this person might think he can get away with while abusing normal citizens.

Right and wrong are matters of perspective.

There’s also almost always favoritism at play. I won’t deny that.

Kapil Sharma’s Apology Post, and what it reveals

But Kapil Sharma’s apology posted on his Facebook page does speak volumes about his attitude towards this whole scenario…

Hi.. good morning friends .. was celebrating my best time n suddenly I heard a news about me n sunil paji fighting.. first of all see where it is coming from.. what r the intentions behind this.. if I fought with him in the flight then who saw it n informed u.. is he trustworthy..? Some people enjoy these kind of stuff..

Nice deflection.

The source, at least for me, is Sunil Grover himself.

Sunil Grover posted this on his Twitter profile, and has since been AWOL…

You hurt me deeply. Working with you has been a learning experience. Advice, start respecting humans.

Kapil Sharma, Sunil Grover posted this in response to your apology. What say you now?

Now I have no idea what Sunil Grover’s intentions are here. I have no clue what your intentions are either. But I can tell you this… Sunil Grover is as authentic a source as can be. At least in this case.

It’s not media that’s trying to make a mountain out of molehill. Not in this case. Not so far, anyway.

Alright, let’s continue with Sharma’s “apology”…

we eat together .. we travel together.. I meet my brother once in a year.. n spending almost everyday with my team.. specially sunil .. I love him.. I respect him.. yes I had a argue with him.but r we not normal people..?I shouted at him first time in 5 years .. itna to chalta hai bhai. we will sit n talk that where is the problem.. I love him as a artist as a human being.. he is like my elder brother.. why so much negativity all the time..

For once, I agree with Sharma.

Things happen. Ideas collide. Barbs are traded.

What is disingenuous about this section of his apology is that Kapil Sharma tries to pull a fast one over the readers’ eyes. He is deliberately downplaying the simmering tension. Tension between him and his “friends”. Tension caused by his own behavior.

Normal people don’t quit because someone yelled once.

We have all been yelled at once at least. I don’t think anyone would quit over being yelled at. Not a high paying job. Not one where you are treated like family. Not one that gives you loads of fame. Not one where you get attention. Attention for all the right reasons. For doing what you love.

But Kapil Sharma, Sunil Grover quit your show.

So did Chandan and Ali.

They all did. Together.

Your shouting wasn’t the root cause. It was just the trigger.

Had it been a one-off event, no matter how disagreeable… your entire team wouldn’t quit at once.

I respect our media.. there r some other serious issues which we need to focus. Is me n sunil’s issue is so important n realted with the security of my country ..?

Deflection again.

Media focuses on famous people. So do normal people. Not all the issues discussed are issues of national security. In fact, there are very few, if any issues of Indian national security in headlines today.

We spend a lot of time together rather then our families .. n sometime it happens in family.. its our family matter.. we will sort this out.. zyada maze mat liya karoo.

Your (now former) cast members seem to disagree.

OK now m tired typing .. n one more thing.. I m going for the final schedule of Firangi. Hahahahaha.. sorry again promotion.. thank u so much for ur love n blessings… keep smiling n stay happy always 🙂) love u all

Believe it or not, the purpose of this “promotion” wasn’t really promotion. It was a calculated demonstration of non-chalance.

Oh everything is all peachy. Just a family disagreement. We drank, we fought… we made our ancestors proud. Nothing to see here. Move along please. teehee.

Of course you didn’t expect to fool ALL of us, did you now, Kapil?

heh

What You, Dear Reader, Can Learn From This Kapil Sharma, Sunil Grover, Ali & Chandan Episode…

Believe it or not… I’m largely only concerned with the applicable lessons one might derive from this episode.

And here’s what I’ve learned…

Lesson 1: Don’t Do Anything In Private You Wouldn’t Do In Front Of An Entire Nation

I’m sure Sharma’s learned it now. Or not. Time will tell.

Lesson 2: Do Unto Others As You Wish Others To Do Unto You

Sooner or later, people get tired of taking your crap. You might get away with throwing your sass around for years… as witnessed in this case. But one day, people draw their boundaries. And shut you out.

Lesson 3: Respect Your Co-Workers

Ain’t that just precious? heh.

I know it’s not easy for most of us to admire everyone we work with. It’s rather impossible to like all your colleagues. The thing is though… even if you don’t like someone, that person has a mind of his own. He’s not going to continue to deal with your disrespect for eternity.

Now, you don’t gotta go out with them and have a drink every night. You don’t need to be all smiley and goody-goody with them. You don’t even need to talk to them beyond the necessities of business if you don’t want to. But one thing you don’t want to do is disrespect them.

Lesson 4: Don’t Overestimate Your Status

It’s never as impressive as you imagine.

No matter who you are.

It’s a mark of an insecure man to belittle those he outranks. Kapil Sharma, from my admittedly limited exposure of him, is one of this ilk. He seems to derive a sick pleasure from belittling those who work for him.

A good leader tells his colleagues why they are important. A bad one tells them how fungible they are.

At the end of the day, what Sharma does is his own business. What Grover does is his own business too.

But these lessons, while simplistic, can go such a long way in maintaining healthy relationships… it’s beyond belief. And yet, as seen in this case, very few people implement these very simple lessons.

I hope you, dear reader, are paying attention.

Until next time,

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