It often happens when a man is traveling alone and has some time to reflect upon his life, he begins to acknowledge what truly matters in life. And what matters in life is what is truly missed away from the usual belongings, surroundings and company one inescapably takes for granted when he has it all.

I have often asked myself why I need more, and what I need more of, and the answers have been inescapably clear to me each time I’ve pondered over this. What I need is freedom and liberty. What I crave is beauty. What I desire is joy. Why I do what I do has everything to do with my current perception of attainment of true joy in life that ironically hangs on a delicate balance between tranquility and chaos.

While I do have a desire for beauty, temporary acquisition of an object of beauty does not take precedence over the relatively fragile nature of security I have attained thus far in life. If I have lost my way, it is simply owing to unmet needs.

There is a part of me that is depressed. This depression stems from painful acknowledgement that neither am I in perfect health, nor have I succeeded in surrounding myself with beauty. Though it’s unfair to say God has not rewarded me disproportionately with respect to the amount of hard work I have posted, for He has… I myself am to blame for not having had the discipline to see my plans through.

It is a matter of fact that success in any aspect of life is simply a function of one’s strategic accuracy and persistence. My own depression stems from not having exerted my will and energies nearly as fully as I ought to have, and from having occupied a spectator’s spot instead of that of a performer’s.

Oh to be incontrovertibly tired, and to delight in the purest essence of the fruit of labor – that joyfully painful rush of nervous currents that only exists when one’s musculature is beyond the threshold of exhaustion.

What is good in life is the ability to persist. The liberty to pursue. The God given will to courageously and boldly venture out. The sweetness in reward pales indelibly in contrast with the sweetness of just having stood back up on one’s own feet after having been knocked down hard. Rewards are a mere consequence and sometimes a liability one has to pretend to enjoy. For the sweetest of waters have already been tasted whence I refused to accept my fate.

Defiance is the biggest power of them all.

Defy a powerful man and your perceived power increases.

Defy your destiny, and any need for power you might have had until then ceases to exist.